This is the continuation of my post Lessons from “The Magic of Thinking Big” – Chapter 1 & 2.
Following parts of Chapter 3 are directly taken from the book: “The Magic of Thinking Big” that I found magical.
Chapter 3: Build Confidence and Destroy Fear
Fear is real. Fear is success enemy No. 1. Fear stops people from capitalizing on opportunity; fear wears down physical vitality; fear actually makes people sick, causes organic difficulties, shortens life; fear closes your mouth when you want to speak.
All confidence is acquired, developed. No one is born with confidence.
Action cures fear. Indecision, postponement, on the other hand, fertilize fear.
Next time you experience big fear or little fear, steady yourself. Then search for an answer to this question; what kind of action can I take to conquer my fear?
- Type of fear: Fear of what other people may think and say.
- Action: Make sure that what you plan to do is right. Then do it. No one ever does anything worthwhile for which he is not criticized.
- Type of fear: Fear of making an investment or purchasing a home.
- Action: Analyze all factors. Then be decisive. Make a decision and stick with it. Trust your own judgement.
- Type of fear: Fear of people.
- Action: Put them in proper perspective. Remember, the other person is just another human being pretty much like yourself.
Remember, hesitation only enlarges, magnifies fear. Take action promptly. Be decisive.
Successful people specialize in putting positive thoughts into their memory bank. … When you’re driving your car or eating alone – recall pleasant, positive experiences. Put good thoughts in your memory bank. … Here is an excellent plan. Just before you go to sleep, deposit good thoughts in your memory bank. Count your blessings. Recall the many good things you have to be thankful for: your wife or husband, your children, your friends, your health. Recall the good things you saw people do today. Recall your little victories and accomplishments. Go over the reasons why you are glad to be alive. … Here is something very significant and very encouraging. Your mind wants you to forget the unpleasant. If you will just cooperate, unpleasant memories will gradually shrivel and the teller in your memory bank cancels them out.
Get a balanced view of the other fellow. Keep these two points in mind when you dealing with people: first, the other fellow is important. Emphatically, he is important. Every human being is. But remember this, also. You are important, too. So when you meet another person, make it a policy to think, “We’re just two important people sitting down to discuss something of mutual interest and benefit.” … The other fellow might look frightfully big, frightfully important. But remember, he is still a human being with essentially the same interests, desires, and problems as you.
It is easy to prove that managed motions can change emotions. People who are shy in introducing themselves can replace this timidity with confidence just by taking three simple actions simultaneously: First, reach for the other person’s hand and clasp it warmly, Second, look directly at the other person. And third, say, “I’m very glad to know you.” These simple actions automatically and instantaneously banish shyness. Confident action produces confident thinking. So, to think confidently, act confidently. … Below are five confidence building exercises. …
- Be a front seater. Sitting up front builds confidence. Practise it. From now on make it a rule to sit as close to the front as you can.
- Practice making eye contact.
- Walk 25 per cent faster.
- Practise speaking up. I’ve watched many persons with keen perception and much native ability freeze and fail to participate in discussions. It isn’t that these folks don’t want to get in and wade with the rest. Rather, it’s simple lack of confidence. The conference clam thinks to himself, “My opinion is probably worthless. If I say something I’ll probably look foolish I’ll just say nothing. Besides, the others in the group probably know more than I. I don’t want the others to know how ignorant I am.” Each time the conference clam fails to speak, he feels even more inadequate, more inferior. Often he make a faint promise to himself (that down deep he know he won’t keep) to speak “next time.” Put this confidence builder to use. Make it a rule to speak up at every open meeting you attend. Speak up, say something voluntarily at every business conference, committee meeting, community forum you attend. Make no exception. Comment, make a suggestion, ask a question. And don’t be the last to speak. Try to be the ice-breaker, the first one in with a comment. And never worry about looking foolish. You won’t.
- Smile big. Smile big and you feel like “happy days are here again.” But smile big. A half-developed smile is not fully guaranteed. Smile until your teeth show. That large-size smile is fully guaranteed.